All the flavuhs!

This past Thursday was Lindseys birthday and sweet baby jesus what an awesome day.

The day started with us wondering where the stray black guy had come from the night before and where in the hell had he bought his pants (imagine a hybrid blend of JNCO and FUBU). Finally we got our asses motivated and went to the mall where we, to no ones surprise I'm sure, ended up with matching outfits. We looked like the alternative version of Barbies Dream Prom.

If you are finding that you feel insanely jealous so far don't  worry, you should be.

After returning home we got dressed and then the bottles of wine started to arrive. Do I mean guests? No. The bottle of wine to actual guest ratio was so unbalanced that it probably would have turned Courtney Love into a born again christian because the proportions were something of a biblical nature.

And then BOOM: Birthday Cake. Let me just say it was huge and delcious enough for me to cut a chunk and hide it under lindsey's bed so I could find it in the morning and have breakfast in bed. (For explanation on cake logic see above paragraph about the all you can drink wine buffet). Anyways, I don't want to say too much about the cake or my phone is likely to get diabetes.

Then the best part of the night. The group trip to The Old Miami in Detroit, which it turns out was a veterans bar. Kind of wish I had known that before I dressed up like the poster child for the religious movements motivation to  abolish gay rights. And what was the FIRST thing that happened when I entered the bar you ask? I almost got kicked out for using what turned out to be the girls bathroom...thanks Nicole.

So finally we all settle in (by settle I mean scatter like roaches in the light leaving me to babysit a stack of coats and purses which I pawned off on a walking stick of cotton candy at the first opportunity) and watched the Air Sex Competition.

What the hell is an Air Sex Competition you ask? Imagine an Air Guitar Competition but instead of...well actually if that doesn't explain it to you then you need to go ask mommy and daddy where babies come from.

After the competition was over the birthday party proceeded to the stage for our very own dance party where I twirled some polish chicks and scowled at a cranky ginger. Then the bouncer came and told us that we need to "get down" which we were clearly already doing. Bouncer 0. Us: 1.

Naturally after that things get a bit fuzzy and I just remember declaring a middle aged black man my new best friend, kissing him on the forehead to validate our new found BFFness and the bartender repeatedly saying "Do NOT sass me Cody!"

Asking a drunk Cody who is sporting a bow tie to not sass is like asking MTV to actually play music. Never gonna happen.

In conclusion, I like wine and cake.

It was great to see everyone and I miss you kids already.

(Posted from phone. Forgive any spelling or grammar errors I may have missed)