I like Pinot and chest hair.

After being back for a week I have remembered why I love this island so much.

The people.

I have already made more new friends than I know what to do with and I pretty much love all of them.

Ryan Goslings look a like, who I very bluntly informed of this and proceeded to show him off to people to prove my findings accurate (vodka).

A boy who I am convinced may be part robot due to his very literal views and formal social interactions (bourbon).

A Sommelier who I told I had no idea what that is and then offered to braid his chest hair. He declined my offer and explained to me what a Sommelier is and how you become one. Sounds a lot like becoming a wizard...or cult member (all the bourbon). 

And my new personal favorite, the little blonde bomb shell who has random kitchen dance parties and works the desk with me.

In conclusion, fuck yes. 2012 is going to be one helluva summer!

Just another Rex Manning day

Well I am back on Mackinac Island and working full time!

However, after being unemployed and as lazy as humanly possible while still maintaining the pulse of a living person, working literally makes my entire body hurt. I feel like Lindsay Lohan doing court ordered community service.

I also learned that nothing will make you judge yourself and all of your posessions more than when you have to unpack everything in to a room you will be sharing with a british dude. Hopefully my very adult bed, Sesame Street lunch box, dinosaur sippy cup and star wars pajamas don't make him uncomfortable...or make him think I shop at Kid Diddlers R' Us....

Fun Fact: I am living in my usual house but am sleeping in the hotel for a couple weeks while we get the hotel up and running. Aside from having to live in two seperate yet equally old and creepy buildings, I feel like a freaking rockstar.

I just want to dance on my hotel bed in my underwear and sunglasses while drinking whiskey from a bottle and blasting Faith by George Michael.

If you don't know what I am talking about, we can't be friends.

Just how cute is it?

The answer is balls.

Cute as balls.

Does that make sense when you really think about it? Nope. But if it does make sense to you and you find the male ball sack to be "cute" then please identify yourself because chances are you belong on some sort of list.

Work it in to your daily phrases. It slides right of the tongue and when not over thought, just makes sense.

Someone asks you if you like thier new hair cut? Say "Yea, it's cute as balls!"

Someone asks if you if thier baby is cute? "Totes. Cute as balls"

Someone buys a pair of crocs and wants your opinion?

TRICK QUESTION!

"Those are ugly as balls"

See how it goes both ways? No?

Well, either you get it or you don't.

Thanks Evan.

(4am....enough said)

They like me, they really like me!

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my blog. I really appreciate it.

This was brought on by my friend Daniella kindly informing me that she and her boyfriend Jacob actually take the time to read and enjoy my sometimes humurous and possibly offensive ramblings.

My natural response was to say thank you and attempt to act modest and flattered when in reality I was panicking that everyone in the room was going to be suffocated by my rapidly inflating ego.

I felt like I had been freakin crowned Miss Universe.

Thanks guys!

All the flavuhs!

This past Thursday was Lindseys birthday and sweet baby jesus what an awesome day.

The day started with us wondering where the stray black guy had come from the night before and where in the hell had he bought his pants (imagine a hybrid blend of JNCO and FUBU). Finally we got our asses motivated and went to the mall where we, to no ones surprise I'm sure, ended up with matching outfits. We looked like the alternative version of Barbies Dream Prom.

If you are finding that you feel insanely jealous so far don't  worry, you should be.

After returning home we got dressed and then the bottles of wine started to arrive. Do I mean guests? No. The bottle of wine to actual guest ratio was so unbalanced that it probably would have turned Courtney Love into a born again christian because the proportions were something of a biblical nature.

And then BOOM: Birthday Cake. Let me just say it was huge and delcious enough for me to cut a chunk and hide it under lindsey's bed so I could find it in the morning and have breakfast in bed. (For explanation on cake logic see above paragraph about the all you can drink wine buffet). Anyways, I don't want to say too much about the cake or my phone is likely to get diabetes.

Then the best part of the night. The group trip to The Old Miami in Detroit, which it turns out was a veterans bar. Kind of wish I had known that before I dressed up like the poster child for the religious movements motivation to  abolish gay rights. And what was the FIRST thing that happened when I entered the bar you ask? I almost got kicked out for using what turned out to be the girls bathroom...thanks Nicole.

So finally we all settle in (by settle I mean scatter like roaches in the light leaving me to babysit a stack of coats and purses which I pawned off on a walking stick of cotton candy at the first opportunity) and watched the Air Sex Competition.

What the hell is an Air Sex Competition you ask? Imagine an Air Guitar Competition but instead of...well actually if that doesn't explain it to you then you need to go ask mommy and daddy where babies come from.

After the competition was over the birthday party proceeded to the stage for our very own dance party where I twirled some polish chicks and scowled at a cranky ginger. Then the bouncer came and told us that we need to "get down" which we were clearly already doing. Bouncer 0. Us: 1.

Naturally after that things get a bit fuzzy and I just remember declaring a middle aged black man my new best friend, kissing him on the forehead to validate our new found BFFness and the bartender repeatedly saying "Do NOT sass me Cody!"

Asking a drunk Cody who is sporting a bow tie to not sass is like asking MTV to actually play music. Never gonna happen.

In conclusion, I like wine and cake.

It was great to see everyone and I miss you kids already.

(Posted from phone. Forgive any spelling or grammar errors I may have missed)

The Great Escape

Megan and myself decided to take the month of April off the island. As it turns out this was a decision that was much easier said than done. We packed up our apartments and had to relocate all of our stuff into town. Anyone who is familiar with the hill up to the millennium building knows how much it would suck to move everything.

Several times during all of this I considered just burning everything I own and starting over.

So, I am down state with Megan at her moms house eating all the fast food I can get my hands on and watching more Jersey Shore than I am proud to admit.

We should probably be doing something productive like going outside and enjoying the nice weather but after so long on the island the world is big and scary.

Anyways, I am glad to be getting some real world (taco bell) in to my system before I get back to the island and start working 75+ hours a week (no taco bell).

Can't wait to see everyone once the season starts and am really happy to get to see all my non-island friends before the summer starts.