Crossing Paths

Have you ever had that night out when you're having a good time, everything is going awesome and you just can't wait to update your facebook status to make your friends jealous about how exciting your life is even though you know, they know and you know they know that in reality your life is pretty average if not boring at best, and then it happens. You spot an ex. You become silent and your eyes glaze over because your mind is on over drive trying to calculate a game plan and evaluate your life to find something about yourself to present that will sort of say "I'm totally doing great and this isn't awkward at all" with out actually saying it. Should you go at it alone or with friends at your side...with friends. But then you start second guessing your friends and how they make you look by association. You pick the ones that you can trust and send the others to the bar for another round which is you secretly screaming "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WEAR THAT SHIRT TONGIHT?!" You find your gem of a life lesson or event, put on a brave face and wait for it to happen. No, you don't make the first move. You wait until you can just happen to bump in to them and pretend to be surprised to see them, hoping they didn't see you go into vegetative state while you plotted and scripted the entire thing.

Then it finally goes down. On your way to smoke a cigarette with your fleet of trusted friends you cross paths. In your head everything is perfect and you will totally come out looking like a really awesome person who should have never been let go.

You open your mouth and feel like this:

 

Then they introduce you to their new girlfriend/boyfriend and you try to keep your cool but fumble with your words, start sweating and turn into this:

 

Finally the small talk is over and you walk away from them feeling defeated.

 

Naturally you return to the bar and drink a lot more whiskey than you had planned and over analyze everything that just happened. By the time you leave the alcohol has taken over and you realize that your ex views you like this:

 

So what now? You allow your self esteem to get its ass beat in an unfair bar fight, go to taco bell and order everything twice, go home and watch this video on repeat until you have eaten your body weight in processed meat and hated your self as much as possible. 

 

 Hope everyone had a good valentines day!